Monday, March 1, 2010

Morphinization

Continuous thoughts on "Inner Void"

As much as we like to believe that we are independent people, but the ugly truth is that we are not, no matter how much we achieve, we are very dependent at core!

We live alone, work and earn good money, study and have good certificates, we have our own cars, our own believes , our own belongings. but we are still dependent. dependent on others to feel good about ourselves, we crave for compliments. when we are sad lonely we want friends around us, we want to cry on their shoulders and pour out all our worries. when we are lonely, we start wondering why are we still single, why we are not in love? and the funny part is no matter what we do to fill this loneliness, like fetching a new hobby or indulging in a new course or activity we will still feel lonely and we will long for that mate who will rescue us from our suffering.

It all revolves around that empty void we feel inside sometimes or even constantly, this void can be sensed as a painful feeling, it could be felt like a sharp stabbing pain, or a sensation of doomed death, or a heaving heaviness or maybe we will suddenly gasp for air feeling that we cant breath anymore..no matter how it feels or how is it described, we always search for the Morphine. that -maybe- a temporary relief, but it feels good , it makes you high, it makes you smile, laugh and feel weightless..This Morphine can come in many forms, it can come in a form of a forbidden love, or pretending to be in love, or pretending to enjoy the company of a group, or going crazy and doing stuff you never do when you are conscious and sane..Then the morphine wears out and you start facing reality again and the pain is more severe because when you are on morphine you are semi unconcious, and you might hurt yourself or others unintentionally.

Yeah, i know morphine is dangerous, it can be harmful and it can cause addiction, but when this painful void haunts back, there is no harm of a bit of morphinization!